GO ON, PHEASEY.

I hadn’t written anything since August, nothing I’d deemed worth doing anyway. Last Saturday, I picked up a journal and pen and unloaded what I was feeling in regards to my writing, or lack thereof.

I didn’t know what I was hoping to gain out of journaling; I opened the book to fresh pages without expectation. In the first few sentences, I felt clarity, I felt weightless. This new story has been tapping me on the shoulder for the past couple of months. I’ve looked at the notebook and screwed my nose up, not thinking that it was worth doing. My initial spark with it had gone out and, as usual, I overthink and worry as to whether it will return.

It always does. Each and every time, I forget how good it feels to get words onto a page. Yesterday I wrote five pages, today another four. Now it doesn’t sound like much, but it is to me. It’s heaps and I’m really bloody proud of those words.

On another topic slightly, I’d set myself a goal this year of reading ten books – I’ve read eleven. Yay! I finished book eleven on Tuesday and it was my first read of Giovanna Fletcher’s. A couple of friends had recommended her novels to me and I thought I would get a few and give them a go.

As I’m sure I’ve mentioned on here plenty of times before, although I write romance novels, I don’t tend to read them as much as I want my work to be as original as it can be. It’s more than likely my backwards way of thinking, yet I like to keep it this way.

This time however, I was hoping for it to give me a kick up the arse – I read Dream A Little Dream, a good read – it had heart, it was funny, sad and most importantly, it kept me turning those pages.

This next part is where I might lose you, but please, stick with me.

As I read Giovanna’s book, I took a second mid-page and realised that I allowed myself to feel as though I could sit in her company in a bookshop. I felt confident in my own writing, especially with this new work, that it could work. Now I’m in no way saying, especially as an unpublished author, that my work is better than hers, but my work is better than my previous.

And that, for me, is what it’s all about. Other than eventually getting published, obvs.

I was thrilled that I was able to think that about myself and my work. I’ve always had this complex, and still do, that this career is above my station, that I should stay in my lane. I’ve had instances, and again, still do, where people will pick me up on my grammar, correct me on my pronunciation – blah, blah, blah.

It’s frustrating. I’m not the smartest human on planet earth – I don’t wish to be, nor am I stating this for an “aww hun, you’re so so smart, don’t let the snakes and fakes get u down xxx”.  But I remind myself that I can’t be all that bad – I’ve got three novels under my belt that people have enjoyed. That won’t be enough for some, but it’s enough for me. So let’s bang this next fucking book out lasses and lads!

Ooh, soz about that – just had a little moment there.

Anyhoo, my point is, I’ve got to keep reminding myself that I can bloody well do this. I’m still petrified about the next part of it all and I keep thinking if I should shelf this idea to focus on getting Back To Reality in the place it needs to be in, for it to even be kept out of the recycling bin in a big posh office.

I also know I’ve said this point before, and the next one to follow, but I think having the power to say that you can do something and believe in your work, isn’t cockiness. Sometimes, if you write a banging sentence, you’re more than allowed to give yourself a pat on the back or even take your smart arse out for a slap-up, three course meal. And if you write an absolute honker of one, don’t worry about it right now – that’s what the backspace button is for.

I’m allowing what I have written to be bad (thanks, Amie!!!) – it’s more authentic this way, it’s got that fire behind it, I can see in my handwriting at how frantic I am to get these words out of my brain. I can sort all of this out another time. I’m sure there are bits I’ve gotten wrong what with timelines, whether I’ve already said point A and not point B, but ah well, I’ll sort it. I’m just buzzing that for the first time ever, I’ve managed to start writing a novel AT THE START!

This is the ‘next one to follow’ – I’ve said it a million times, but I cannot tell you how glad and grateful I still am to have attended Amie’s writing workshop whilst I was in Australia. I honestly still think about it most days and I put my freer way of thinking down to that day. Of course, there are things that I still struggle to shake in regards to my writing journey, but attending that has undeniably helped.

Also, meeting those lovely people and all of us being as open as we wanted to be was an honour to witness. I opened myself up more than I ever thought I would and I’m extremely proud of myself and everyone else for doing so. I’m thrilled that we still keep in touch and it has opened me up to a wider community where I can feel as though I am able to flourish and be open with my work.

As massive thank you to those on that day, you’re all awesome and magical storytellers – you truly put the cherry on the cake of the already mint trip.

Christ, that was a ramble, but a good ‘un.

I’m off for a brew and a Wispa Gold.

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can view all of Amie’s available information on workshops and the like here.

PLANNING.

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So, I somewhat said to myself that I didn’t really want to do much planning of this novel. But seeing as I really struggle to write fiction during the day, I’ve been dipping in and out of research today and I’ve really enjoyed myself.

The beginning and the initial sparks of an idea are what I truly love; getting to know who my characters are and what makes them tick, where have they come from? What do they believe in?

Today, I learned a lot more about my MC, Roxanne, or Rox as she will be known throughout the novel, all thanks to someone else within these early pages. I’ve delved into her history, her DNA and I’ve learned a few things myself – and not just about her. I’ve also found a tasty recipe, that I’m going to be making a little closer to Christmas. None of this makes sense, but it will if this book ever sees the light of day to the public.

In the last blog post, I wrote excitedly about this idea and it’s honestly been filling my brain ever since. I’ve written around 1500 words and started on chapter one, something I’ve never done in my entire life.

Obviously, because I’m an addict and can’t help myself, I ran into Asda yesterday morning and took advantage of the ‘back to school’ sale. For stationery fiends like myself, stuff on sale is a must and at the thrill of a new story, I had to buy a notebook that I didn’t need and a pack of pens that I didn’t need also. But let’s face it, there’s nothing like a brand new notebook and a pen that glides like a knife through butter.

(Little tip: buy a pack of Bic Round Stic M’s ’cause they’ll bloody change your life. Not a sponsor, but my lord they are crafted by all of the Gods.)

I managed to write three pages on my lunch break and although the subject matter at times can get serious, I am enjoying writing something that’s based over here and the intro has got a humour to it.

‘Back To Reality’ is still something that I’m still very serious about; I know I need to get it on its publishing journey, but I can’t sit and let these new ideas wait patiently for the right time. I’m just so excited and thrilled with the fact that another idea has appeared and fallen into my lap so wonderfully.

I honestly do believe that this one isn’t going to take me all that long to get drafted. BTR took years to get it to a first draft; I don’t think I have the will to wait for this one. It feels fresh and ready to be told already. I would love it to be finished by Christmas – being as the story is set over Christmas and New Year, it would be lovely to sit and read this over the festive period.

Obviously, we’d all love August to be tropical, but the fact that it has been dreary and drizzly at the moment has really helped me. Soz about that, but honest – so yeah.

As per, I don’t know what the point of this blog post is other than my excited rambling! Either way, as per, I’m grateful to those who take the time and read it. Have a great weekend, wherever you are.

 

(Image: @pheeease – my personal instagram)

A WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY.

I woke up this morning, rolled up my blind and an idea for a story instantly hit me in the face. I have been thinking about it ALL DAY. I quickly noted down some ideas first thing over a cuppa (obvs) on my phone, and spent my entire lunch break working on the plot.

The fact that I have managed to figure this out in five hours is beyond me. In all the years I have been writing, never has an idea fall so easily into my lap before. I’ve typically had solid ideas I can work on and then draw a blank. Usually I know the end of the book first, have a think about the beginning and note down some scene ideas.

Not today. I’ve managed to sit and go through from start to finish, this entire story. Obviously, I know I’ll hit some road blocks on the way, it’s pretty much part of the process and the excitement, yet I feel that I could actually sit down and begin this novel at the start. Which is something I have never done before in my life!

I’m so, so excited to see where this takes me. A little while ago, I did mention after going to Amie’s workshop that I’d managed to get some work done on the beachside novel. Even before this idea came up, that story has crossed my mind, yet there’s something holding me back from continuing.

I haven’t felt that rush with that piece of work as I have with this idea. There are too many parts to the beachside novel that are blank to me, there are too many parts that are still to be found. I feel as though that character still doesn’t want me to find her just yet. I know it sounds somewhat insane to think that these characters reside deep within the matter of my skull, but they’ve got to be in there somewhere.

At the moment, there are two in the forefront of my brain; and I think, in the end, they’re going to get along just fine.

THE WHAT-IFS AND THE MAYBES.

A little while ago, my good friend P decided to become one of my beta readers. Recently, I received her questionnaire back and she mentioned that she could see a sequel happening.

I’ve always said to myself and to others that Back To Reality is a standalone piece; throughout this process, I’d never once entertained the thought of adding to Samantha’s story. However, since P mentioned this (and how lovely of her, also), the thought has been popping up in my mind ever since.

Today, I’ve thought about it non-stop. As per, music has been at the forefront, where I have listened to a piece that has eased me into thinking about my characters. Today’s track was taken from Troy Baker’s Sitting in the Fire album, a purely instrumental piece called Intermission.

I’d never listened to his music before and thought I’d give it a try (gamers, you’ll know exactly who I’m talking about). As soon as I began listening to the calming melodies, I thought of Samantha and Nick.

I won’t go into the plot and such, but it did get me thinking of their journey throughout Back To Reality and what could occur in a potential sequel. I began to think of the end, as I usually do, first. Backwards, I know, yet my first question is always what is the end goal? Where do I want these characters to be 300/400 pages down the line?

I meandered through my brain earlier, travelling through the maze of an unweaved tale. Do I have something I could use? Potentially. I haven’t written anything down on paper as of yet; I feel as though this is my next port of call after posting this. Even if these ideas never see the light of day, it makes me smile to know that these characters that I’ve poured my heart and soul into over the years, are still living and breathing somewhere inside my skull. I simply haven’t paid them a visit yet.

My first roadblocks would be to try to ascertain what the conflicts would be. It was heavily apparent in book one, yet would these characters fall into the same parallels as those in the City Streets saga? Obviously, my job is to make sure that that doesn’t happen. I guess subconsciously, I would love to revisit those novels and rewrite them some day.

With my submission journey due to begin, I would assume it’s a good thing that Paula has not only enjoyed the book, yet planted a seed within me that I could turn around to a potential agent and, when asked, inform them that there is a possibility of this book having a sibling if there is a market for it. However, I do believe that it would suit without one either way. Yet it’s nice to know that somewhere in my mind, Samantha has reminded me that she is still there and to still keep in touch.

In other news, I have recently made the grave error in ordering more (yes, more) books to read. I’ve recently just finished Kevin Kwan’s fantastic Crazy Rich Asians and am flying through China Rich Girlfriend, part two of his trilogy. (Also, if you haven’t already, watch the movie  – it’s bloody glorious!).

As I’ve gone through some submission guidelines, a couple have asked to include where I think my manuscript could sit in a bookshop, who could my novel rub shoulders with on a shelf?

I honestly felt flummoxed with that question. Especially as some would like an easy comparison such as “It’s the lovechild of Joe Bloggs and Jane Doe”. Let’s keep it ambiguous, here.

The novels ordered have all been within the same genre as mine, all in hope to get a grasp of who I could sit amongst. All the while of me trying to find my own voice, be authentic within my own style and come up with content that may branch away from the norm, I can’t help but think if I’ve shot myself in the foot with it all.

Reading predominately Thrillers is something I not only enjoy, yet it helps me write my genre style as they are polar opposites. I write contemporary romance novels, and therefore my reading about a serial killer on the loose, or a psycho ex mother in law acting on a blood thirsty rampage, typically wouldn’t cross over into my manuscript.

I do need to read these to understand the market more and what other best-selling authors in the genre are getting right. I just simply hope that an agent sees something in my fiction that is unique enough to take the plunge in the near by future.

RESEARCH.

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It’s been one of those weeks that has been a struggle. I’ve felt moody, unenthused and uninspired to do pretty much anything. I work rather well off of a list and have used my diary to achieve that, even the most mundane tasks are written in there, simply to cross off and look back on the day as though I have achieved something.

Wednesday didn’t have anything written in there, Tuesday’s page was minimal. Last week, each day’s page was filled to the brim with jobs to do, all of which I’d completed and those pages are filled with multi-coloured celebratory strips of highlighter.

I decided to take my very last day of holiday off today. I know I’ll regret that over the coming months, yet I think of the words ‘self-care’ and knew that was needed. This morning I have made myself get up early and made myself work.

The past few days have left me wildly frustrated at the want to write or stitch, yet as soon as I sit to perform these tasks, I give up. That isn’t going to happen today.

Since around 8.30am, I have thrown myself into copying notes into my workbook. Yes, it more than likely is busy work, yet sometimes I personally find that by copying these notes, it allows my brain to receive them well, far more than simply re reading and thumbing back and forth through many pages. Plus, this way I don’t have to carry four books with me, I only need mine. My shoulders and back are already thanking me.

I haven’t written anything since I’ve come back from Australia and that fucking sucks. It’s my own fault and I’ve let other things slip, such as the podcast. I could put it down to post-holiday blues; which a slither of it is, but I have to lay the blame with myself as I have the power to turn it around and I haven’t.

Sorry to listeners of ‘The Vault’, we will be back soon, I promise! There’s also a part of me that wants to switch up the podcast a little bit – if you’re reading this and are a listener, would you be willing to stay tuned if it wasn’t solely gaming related? Let me know either on here or over on Twitter (@Vault_Unlocked).

I’m pleased that I have just copied work into another notebook. Part of me feels as though this may be useless, but it’s reminded me just how much I want this, yet again. I feel as though for me personally that writing the book was the easiest part.

To elaborate on that seemingly bonkers point is as follows:-

With writing, you are safe, it’s your work. At one time of day, only my eyes had read those sentences, its harshest critic had only been me. Since then, I have allowed others to visit my character in their worlds, and this week I have received more feedback, which has been wonderfully positive. To have someone tell you how they’ve felt when reading your work is wonderful; whether that be their frustration of not knowing something soon enough, to be told that they wished they could have finished it sooner, yet life was getting in the way.

All feedback is welcomed, yet when it’s positive to begin with, and honest, it’s a magnificent feeling.

I have managed to drop that fear of letting another person see my work; I simply wish I could drop this fear of the absolute unknown, which is publishing. I need to dedicate more time to researching this. I have tonnes of books, one of which I used today, yet I need to read them. And I mean really read them. To absorb every word and take in every sentence, basically I feel as though I need to live and breathe it.

Crunch time is now. I feel as though Back To Reality is my best work to date, and I finally feel confident enough in myself at present to say that. For years, I’ve downplayed my work. I’m not sat here typing as though I’m the best thing since sliced bread, I’m not. But I feel as though my content has improved vastly since City Streets. Perhaps that’s through age and a different story. Yet this body of work is one that I’m extremely proud of and Christ have we gone through the mill to get it to where it is today.

When I was younger, I used my age as a tool to not push myself. You can be an author at any age, I was then, I still am. I’m simply unpublished. Remember, you are still an author regardless of that fact. I’ll be forever grateful to Amie for teaching me that. Once again, if you get the chance, check out her site for her mentoring and workshops. She is incredible and her energy and passion for writing is infectious.

At sixteen, eighteen, twenty-two, I wasn’t concerned about rushing to get published. Of course, I wanted to be, yet I used the ‘I’m young, I’ve got ages.’. I’m by no means old, yet I feel as though I need to push myself and finally begin this long and arduous journey ahead. I can’t keep complaining about my situation if I haven’t done anything about it. I don’t want to look back in the next ten years and think ‘I still need to do that’.

I know this post is long and a little ranty, but you’re used to me by now, right?

As much as I try to keep positive about this journey, it is hard to at times. The fear that encompasses me always wins and tells me to put the pen down, the notebooks away and the advice to one side. I want it to lose and only I can fight to change that.

I take my hat off to everyone who has submitted. You’re all rock stars and so, so brave.

I need to source that child within me again. Kids, quite famously, have no fear. I need to get that mentality back. The worst an agent or publisher is going to say to me is no. They may say more, yet the top and bottom of it is if they’re going to take the chance with me or not. It is a risk, yet I have to ensure that I make it worth their while.

The mock ups I need to do will be the most nerve-wracking part. There is more research to do and today is the day to find out a lot more. It’s time to drop the fear. It’s going to be tough to knock those walls down, but it needs to be done.

Thank you for reading this excessive post and I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. I’ll be back as and when with hopefully a more positive, and shorter, post.

Take care.

A SATURDAY WELL SPENT.

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(Left to Right – Me, Gemma, Amie & Maxine)

 

If you’ve read my previous post, you’ll have seen that I was due to attend Amie’s writing workshop. I’m thrilled to report that it was a wonderful success! I met the lovely ladies above and also the brilliant James and Jen.

With this being my very first workshop, I didn’t know what to fully expect as explained in A Little Thing Called Fate. I knew that a good chunk of writing was on the agenda and as soon as I sat down, I worried that I wouldn’t be able to push myself to do so.

In all honesty, I tried to push the workshop to the back of my mind on this trip. I knew if I’d have excessively thought about it prior to the day, I’d work myself into a panic of what could happen and the worry of what or if I’d even be able to create. I was stunned that on the morning of, I’d felt so relaxed. Once I’d arrived, I walked in and Amie greeted me with a welcoming hug and pleasantries were exchanged between all. And breathe.

Before any pen met paper, we sat down to introduce ourselves, our work and overall goals. I knew that I would need to open myself up and speak about my projects, this certainly was the place to do so and a space I’d quickly felt safe in.

It was so interesting to hear everyone’s stories or pieces that they were working on; for the sake of privacy, I won’t be sharing their ideas, yet I cannot wait to hear their progress and I wish them nothing but all the success in the world with their journeys and aspirations.

Amie’s seminars were ones that didn’t feel daunting, she’d created a safe haven for all of us to work in and I must thank her once again for that. We were able to speak freely and bounce off of one another, which was another facet to the day I’d felt was extremely rewarding.

For years, I’ve really struggled with speaking about my work. I would class myself as a very confident person, yet writing is something that I hold extremely close to my heart and I feel as though I can only talk to a minute handful of, in a way in which I feel comfortable. When I do with others outside of that small group, I can feel easily overwhelmed and sell myself short of both my stories and aspirations.

With this, I knew I wanted to come to the workshop and be as open as I could be. I felt a small sense of pride with the fact that I’d pushed myself to do so and it paid off. With every opportunity that arose to share with the group, I took it with both hands and I’m so, so glad I did. I’m proud of us all in being so open, so well done team!

I felt so honoured to be sat in a room with such wonderful people and to hear their tales, to get to know them a little and to witness a change in them and myself since we walked in the door, first thing in the morning.

To begin with, we were asked to write down our intentions for the day, mine were as follows:-

  • To get a better understanding of the publishing process and gain confidence with taking the next steps.
  • Explore my character through diving in – what’s occurring in scenes? Where is her life at, at this point?
  • Perhaps attempt to start at the start? Never done before, may be an option to explore?
  • Scenery – where is it based? Nail down location.

The first exercise was to retell a moment that was close to us personally, whether that be through embarrassment, sadness – a number of things. I chose sadness as I felt as though I’d be able to draw something from a specific memory and with that I’d struck gold.

The aim of the exercise was to bring a truth to our writing as this will help us achieve better storytelling – truth = relatability. My ultimate goal is for my reader to really feel something pour from those pages, I want them to almost be hand in hand with my characters through my novel and witness their story first hand. It’s ironic to bring an essence of truth to pure fiction!

When it came to the pockets of writing – forty-five minutes here, twenty there, the worry of not being able to create washed away. As soon as I began to scrawl away, more words fell into my lap.

Some attended having a rough idea of what they wanted to achieve that day, I personally wanted to get more of an understanding of my character and her world, which I do feel as though I have achieved. Where this story will take me, I have no idea, yet I’m really excited to find out and explore this character further.

This workshop has helped me to view myself as a writer rather differently. Some of the exercises we did turned the mirror onto ourselves where Amie focused on self care as a writer. She reminded us of the importance of being kind to ourselves when it comes to our art.

It is incredibly easy to be negative; let’s face it, we are our own worst critics – yet another part of our seminar was to identify said critic and then almost challenge it. The positive affirmations we were asked to write didn’t come naturally, yet they are now in my notebook and reread with a smile.

I believe those words and I truly believe in myself.

I have taken away so much more from this workshop than just words on a page. There are many things from that day that I will cherish and keep to myself, yet I hope that there are many more opportunities like this in the future. Now I have attended this workshop, I feel it’s given me the confidence to do this kind of thing again.

Most of all, it’s reminded me of just how much I want this.

The items on my own personal agenda, I feel as though I have achieved. Amie has given me some wonderful advice with the next steps to take and I am now looking at said steps with determination and not fear. Of course, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have my reservations, but after Saturday with such a wonderful bunch, I am feeling a lot lighter in regards to the publishing journey.

We leave Sydney tomorrow for home and what a trip it’s been for so many different things, the workshop has simply been the cherry on the cake. The first thing I’ll do as I get in the house is fly through my Writers and Artists Yearbook 2019 with my highlighter!

Once again, a massive thank you to Amie for being such a wonderful mentor and an all-round diamond. It’s been such a pleasure to get to know you and to watch your journey over the years, I can’t wait to see what’s to come! I thank you for your kindness, your support and your allowance to let us flourish.

Finally to Gemma, James, Maxine and Jen – I wish you all the luck in the world with your journies, it’s been an absolute delight getting to know you all and hear your stories. I wish you nothing but the best going forward. Thank you all, and Amie, for being so transparent and allowing me an insight into your works.

If you’d like to learn more about future workshops with Amie, or keep an eye on updates, just click here. Alternatively, you can visit her Instagram by also clicking here.

As always, thanks again for having a read and take care.

p.s. – also a HUGE thank you to Jase for being my guide to getting there. Couldn’t have done it without you, Bucko!

 

A LITTLE THING CALLED FATE.

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Over the past week, my partner and I have been in beautiful Sydney to visit my best buds. The image above was taken on day one from our rooftop balcony – insane right?!

A few days before we were due to leave, a lovely lady I’ve been following over on Instagram mentioned that she was holding a small workshop whilst I was over here. I messaged her in excitement as it truly felt as though fate had intervened and I’d been lucky enough to secure my place and be able to meet Amie, who I’ve followed for over five years now.

Her Instagram is @InspiredToWrite, a page where she lets us into her creative world. It is one that’s raw, one that’s insightful and one that’s real. Amie makes you feel like you’re not alone within your own journey and it’s helped me incredibly – thank you, Amie!

As the day is fast approaching for her intimate workshop and seminars, I must admit I am starting to feel a little anxious. I’ve never attended a workshop before; I travelled to Birmingham many years ago for a NanoWriMo casual coffee morning, yet I backed out at the last minute through listening to my negative thoughts in agreeance with them, thinking I’d be laughed out of the building.

With being quite literally in the right place at the right time, I knew I’d regret it heavily if I didn’t attend this workshop. As I’ve finished ‘Back To Reality’ and taken it to a place where I feel happy with it, I need to wrap up this journey and start thinking of new things and fresh content.

As I mentioned in the last blog, I have a few ideas and I know for definite that on Saturday, my new character will take her first breath.

I really don’t know what to fully expect from this creative day, yet I am thoroughly excited to meet her and the other attendees, also to be surrounded by writers and listen to their ideas and aspirations.

I’m hoping that this will build my confidence with regards to openly talking about my work more, which I know is something that I struggle with. Attending this will somewhat force me to do so and I hope that this will, going forward, give me more confidence in my work and me as a writer.

Saturday will be a day that I know I will take so much from, yet I wanted to post and just get down a few emotions I’ve been feeling towards the day. I’m positive that the post after this one will be an uplifting feature.

The nerves are ones through excitement, for the unknown – let’s do this, Pheasey!

Whatever time zone you’re on, I hope you’re all well.

 

Inspired To Write Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/inspiredtowrite/?hl=en

If you’re interested in Amie’s workshop on Saturday, please visit her Instagram page for more details, hopefully see you there!

HITTING THE RESET BUTTON.

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This weekend was one that was much needed and long overdue, that’s for sure. My wonderful friend had booked us a night away in Bournemouth for a gal’s trip and my goodness, do I feel better for it.

I’ve had a lot on my mind recently, admittedly the vast majority of these thoughts aren’t concerning by any means, yet they have felt rather overwhelming.  With a two-and-a-half hour car journey ahead of us early yesterday morning, we soon had the mother of all chats and even after only ten minutes with my girl, I’d felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.

Whilst we sat sipping tea and sharing a slice of Banoffee cake, looking at the view above later that afternoon, I finally felt inspired. For a while, even before stepping a foot back in Bournemouth, I’d had an idea of what I could write next. Yet just from looking at that view, it had given me the nod to go with my instincts and hold the want to push forward with these minor plot points.

I was grateful to Gabs in that she had welcomed the role of a beta reader many moons ago; therefore I felt comfortable enough to talk to her about this fresh idea that circled in the cave above my eyebrows.

Writing is something that I adore, yet I’ll admit that I do struggle to speak about a lot of the time; it’s the one thing that I can get quite shy about. Anyone who knows me can agree that ‘shy’ is not an adjective that one would usually use when describing me to another.

Sitting on the outside deck of that beachfront restaurant, I simply let the ideas pour from me, all in wonder of what her thoughts were on said ideas. Obviously, these are extremely rough and by no means have I tied ‘Back To Reality’ with a pretty red bow, yet I have been growing concerned recently with the fact that I’ve felt as though the ideas were never going to come.

It felt wonderful to feel so relaxed and feel the itch to create a new world surface, all in the best company.

So, as I sit here with a (yet another) cuppa, I feel content with letting out all of the worries that I had on my mind and letting the laughter in. It’s good to talk and I beg you, if you are struggling, please talk to someone.

Have a smashing week ahead.

A BIT OF THIS, A BIT OF THAT.

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It’s been a while since I’ve posted and after a really productive, and longer, weekend, I thought I’d post a little something.

Since the last update, I’ve finished the final draft of my novel and am pleased to say that I’m happy with it. Of course, I’m sure there are things that could be improved or changed, yet this is the first time I’ve been able to look at my work, once complete, and feel content with what I’ve written.

I’ll be honest, I did have a little blip of wallowing in the typical ‘I’m never going to be a published author, my content is awful and let’s just burn the whole thing and forget it’, but that’s normal right?

Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve sent the final draft back out to my lovely beta readers who wanted to see the changes that had been made. A HUGE thank you to Camilla and Bec who are not only reading it, but have sent me wonderful messages to say how they’re enjoying it even more this time around. It’s truly made me feel as though the long nights and the constant questioning worth it, so thank you.

That brings us to this week. I made a list of tasks for this weekend to complete, all items that I honestly didn’t think I would be able to tick off, yet I have and smashed them. Yay!

Myself and my other half have a gaming podcast called The Vault (the link to which you can find below, if you’re interested), a place where we chat about the games and video game movies we have and haven’t liked so much.

My goal this week was to record at least two episodes with him, get them edited and queued – we’ve actually smashed four, I’ve edited all of them and they’re all ready to go on their upload dates. I’m absolutely thrilled that I’ve managed to get a lot of podcast work done, especially as we’re going away for a couple of weeks and were worrying about uploads etc.

I don’t really know what the point of this post was; I think I was simply feeling quite cheery with the progress with the novel, a few Bubblegum Stitches xo business moves (my cross stitching venture, link to that also below!) and the podcast side of things.

I think it’s easy to be negative and easy to also give ourselves a hard time at any given moment. Perhaps the purpose of this was to document something that I’ve felt proud of achieving this weekend. I know these bursts of productivity aren’t always apparent (see previous blogs to back this up!), yet it’s nice to know that it can happen occasionally.

I hope you’ve all had a wonderful bank holiday weekend, until next time, whenever that may be.

 

The Vault Gaming Podcast – Apple Podcasts

The Vault Gaming Podcast – Anchor.fm

The Vault Gaming Podcast – Spotify

Bubblegum Stitches xo – Instagram

@BGstitchesxo on Twitter

Bubblegum Stitches xo on Facebook

THE FINAL (I HOPE) DRAFT.

Yeah, I know, I’ve said this a lot of times. Yet as I sit and type this, whilst listening to the same Tom Misch track for the past three hours (yes, this is also something I do), I can say that I have FINISHED.

With the constructive comments I’ve taken on board from my lovely beta readers and myself, I honestly feel that this story has evolved so much and to the point where I feel I cannot take it any further. Even though it has taken me four attempts and eleven years to get this story to said point, I can finally say I feel happy with how it has turned out.

I know I will have another read through and a grammar and spell check ahead of me, yet as far as content goes – I’m DONE.

As I continue to write, I know I will never be one hundred percent satisfied with any project I complete, yet comparing this work to my previous, my writing style has changed and I couldn’t be happier about it.

This journey has been a tough one and by no means is it over yet, it’s quite realistically the beginning in terms of where to go next. However, I’m pleased with the fact that I can say that as of today, this story is complete.

I’m positive that there will be more posts regarding the next phase of this novel, but this evening I wanted to document this feeling of elation. This process hasn’t been easy, yet it has been so worth it.

Thank you to everyone who has devoted their precious time and spent theirs with my characters and their world, I’m forever grateful – especially as some of you want to walk the streets with them once again. To everyone I have bored with my woes of writing this, thank you for lending me your ears.

Anyway, I shall stop this Academy Award speech and tidy up my reams of paper and smattering of pens. To anyone who reads this, I hope you’ve all had a wonderful weekend and may the week ahead bring you lots of smiles, laughs and donuts. And maybe a Pizza. Or a Curry. ‘Cause they’re all bloody delicious.

V.